It’s episode 69.
That’s right 69, and you know what, I’m so mature I don’t even mention it once.
It’s true, just listen and you’ll see.

The show starts with Bob Baker and Do You Hear What I Hear.  This week it’s Naff.

Then Paula Horwood shares the harrowing tale of how her supply teacher told the whole class who really delivers the presents on Christmas Eve,
Paula is the creator of Baubicles and you can learn a bit more here:
https://baubicles.co.uk/

Next up we have the quiz and it’s out with the old and in with the new.  I’ve run out of questions from the original quiz so I’ve bought a book.
If you fancy being a Christmas Quizmaster you can have the old quiz, just email me and your name will go into the hat.

Then our US correspondent Scott Newman is on the show to tell us if he recognises some classic British Christmas songs.
The songs are:
Walking In The Air

2000 Miles by the Pretenders

Step Into Christmas by Sir Elton John

Keeping The Dream Alive by Freiheit

Saviour’s Day by Cliff Richard

Check out Scott’s podcasts here:

https://www.christmasmorningpodcast.com/

Then I plug my merch.  Do you want a T-shirt that let’s people know you love Christmas?
Well if you do all the proceeds go to charity.
Check out the T-shirts here:
http://tee.pub/lic/Fd5fQwF4tsY

Also I have a book.
Thursday Night’s Alright by Jack Andrews
I wrote it nearly 20 years ago.  It’s very rude and there’s lots of bad language, but on the plus side it is very funny.
If you have Kindle Unlimited you can read it for free, or buy the ebook version on Amazon for $3.
(There’s no cover picture on Amazon at the moment, but it does have a cover, it just hasn’t processed yet, although when you read this, it might have a cover).

Then it’s What The Dickens and we discuss a couple of very interesting bits about Candles in A Christmas Carol

Next up Bob Baker is back with Wonderful Christmastime and we have more Christmas traditions that you can get involved in.

Then it’s part 2 of Between The Lights by E F Benson as read by Tony Dixon.
Check out Tony’s podcast here:

This week’s recommendation is the fantastic book Thursday Night’s Alright by Jack Andrews.  A crude but hilarious novel that your mum might find offensive, but you’ll love.
Here’s a link:

If you want to get in touch, what are you waiting for…
Email:
totalchristmas@gmail.com
website:
www.totalchristmaspodcast.com

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas you beautiful people and welcome to episode 67 of the TCP.

We begin with a heart-warming story from Susan Bratcher Tischer.

Then it’s Wonderful Christmastime and we have more Christmas events and traditions from Bob Baker.

Then I take a look at roast chestnuts and discuss the history of this delicacy and why it’s not so widespread these days.

Next up is an interview with Paula Horwood the creator of Baubicles.  These are a fantastic decoration to hang on your tree that you can store an engagement ring or jewellery in for your loved one.
Check out her website:
https://www.baubicles.co.uk/

Want to know why us Brits say ‘boot’ but people in the US say ‘trunk’ well Bob Baker is going to explain it for you in Do You Hear What I Hear.

Then it’s the quiz.  Hooray.

Then we have another heart-warming story, this time it’s from John McAllister.

This episode’s recommendation is the Happy Halloween Podcast hosted by friend of the show Tony Dixon.
You can check it out here:

If you want to get in touch then do it.
Here’s the email:  totalchristmas@gmail.com

Merry Christmas

It’s a packed show you lucky boys and girls.

First up Bob Baker our podcast Barman explains to our US listeners the meaning of the term ‘Togs’.

Then we have a look at A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa.  It’s a lovely entry to the muppets Christmas canon and has some great cameos and some decent jokes.

Then Bob Baker is back with Wonderful Christmastime and he tells us about some of the wonderful activities you can get involved with this Christmas.

After that we have an interview with Todd Killian the host of Christmas Clatter.  We have a chat about what it’s like being a mail carrier around Christmas.
Check out Christmas Clatter here:
https://www.christmasclatter.com/

Then it’s the quiz.  Will you be able to decipher my badly hummed Christmas songs.

If you want to get in touch, stop sitting there and do it.

email:  totalchristmas@gmail.com

Merry Christmas

It’s episode 63 of the TCP and it’s great to have you hear.

First up we have a Yule Log, and what better way than to celebrate the birth of Jesus than watching him drink wine next to a lovely wood fire with his faithful dog by his side.
If you want to watch it, here’s a link:

Then we look at how much Bob Cratchit earned and if he was really that poor.

In this episode’s Do You Hear What I Hear our self-appointed podcast bartender Bob Baker explains the meaning of the word Crisps.

Then we have a new segment, Wreck The Halls. This was suggested by Bob, and it’s your chance to share stories of when things didn’t go according to plan at Christmas.  Bob shares the story of his first Christmas as a married man and how their glorious tree became, well, not so glorious.

Then it’s the quiz.  10 questions, 5 songs and a whole load of fun.

This episode’s recommendation is The Total Christmas Podcast.  Not as entertainment, but as a sleep aid.  Try it, you’ll sleep like a baby (you’ll wake up in the middle of the night crying because you peed yourself).

If you want to get in touch, here’s the email:

totalchristmas@gmail.com

Merry Christmas

I recorded this the week after the previous podcast, so I was in a bit of a rush but I’ve done my best.
We start with Do You Hear What I Hear and our self-appointed podcast barman, Bob Baker, explains to us the word ‘bum’.  Is it your bottom, is it a hobo or is it both?

Next up we have our second Story of Shame from the wonderful Jennifer Kay she shares the story of waking her mum up (who’d been working all night in the ICU) to the sound of her and her sister’s glorious singing.

Then we have the triumphant return of Robin Sings.  Robin and Juno give us their rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas.  Don’t worry, it’s only the last verse.  If you want to check out their podcast, here’s a link:
anchor.fm/notcomplaining

Then it’s the quiz, test your Christmas general knowledge and listen to me hum some tunes.

Mike Westfall of the Advent Calendar House Podcast was kind enough to let me use this clip of his show, where his guest Justin O’Connor shares how he found out the truth about Santa Claus.
Check out the Advent Calendar House Podcast here:
https://adventcalendar.house/

Then we have a short What The Dickens where I discuss what was, at the time, a controversial line in the book.

If you want to get in touch I’m not stopping you.

Email:  totalchristmas@gmail.com

Merry Christmas

I’ve been ill so don’t give me a hard time if this episode isn’t up to the usual standard.

We start with a Christmas Not So Classic this time it’s 21st Century Christmas an attempt by Cliff Richard to get a Number one single in his 6th consecutive decade.  It’s not that bad…   or that good.

Our Self-appointed podcast barman Bob Baker explains the difference between Pissed and Pissed depending on which side of the Atlantic you’re on.

Then we have a new segment.  I bought a Christmas quiz game at my local car boot sale and you all get to have a go at the questions.

Then Mike Westfall from The Advent Calendar House podcast tells us all about how he found out about Santa Claus.

This episode’s What The Dickens looks at 4 different words or phrases that are used in the description of Scrooge.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

I’m here, you’re here, let’s talk about Christmas.

First up it’s a story of shame, this one was sent in by Travis Gronsdahl and it’s a story of a Secret Santa and a bunch of very rude colleagues.

Then Frank the Tank has sent us a Curious Christmas Custom.  This one is quite heartbreaking for all the wrong reasons.

Then Wayne Clarke from the Christmas Alphabet podcast has sent in a What The Dickens!
Admittedly it’s one we’ve already covered, but he does such a good job of explaining it, we can’t hold that against him.

Bob Baker has sent in another Do You Hear What I Hear and this time he explains and translates the word Pudding.

Then I have an interview with a dear friend of mine, it’s Petter from Sweden.  He tells all about celebrating Yule in his home country.

This episode’s recommendation is Life and Beth, it’s on Disney+ and is written, directed by and stars Amy Schumer.  It’s very funny, so give it a look.

If you want to get in touch, what’s stopping you?

email:  totalchristmas@gmail.com

Merry Christmas!

Welcome to the show you beautiful people.

This episode starts with a brand new segment called Jack-Ask (which is a terrible name and needs to be changed).  For some reason a listener thinks your host, Jack, is the person to ask for advice on a Christmas dilemma.  What do you do when a guest brings very little food to the table, but takes loads of leftovers when they leave?

Then it’s the triumphant return of Robin Sings (which should really be called Robin and Juno Sing).  We had a request from Bob Baker for the girls to sing Where Are You Christmas, so that’s what they did.

We also had a request from Bob Baker to take a look at the British TV show Old Jack’s Boat which has a lovely Christmas episode.  It’s called The Christmas Quest and it’s a real tearjerker.  I couldn’t find the episode to watch, but you can listen to the story here:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/radio/old-jacks-boat-christmas-quest

This episode we have another Yule Log.  This one features Lil Bub an internet famous cat who’s very cute and sits in front of a fire.
If you want to watch it, who am I to stop you.  Here’s a link:

Then we have everyone’s favourite segment What The Dickens.  This episode we talk about why the chapters of a Christmas Carol are called staves, why Scrooge wants to retire to Bedlam and why every idiot who goes around with Merry Christmas on his lips should be buried with a stake of holly through his heart.

This week’s recommendation is anything by the author Bill Bryson.  His books are funny and interesting and they kept me company on my short tour around Wales.

If you want to get in touch, the email is totalchristmas@gmail.com

Merry Christmas

Hello you beautiful person.

It’s a jam packed episode with all sorts of crap.

Want to watch a boring yule log that’s out of focus because BB8 is in front of it beeping occasionally?
Well here’s a link:

Then it’s What The Dickens, and in my humble opinion this one is a gem.  We learn about how Scrooge could tell the time in the dark.

Then we have a movie quiz all about Santa’s wife, or Mrs Claus as she prefers to be known.  I give you the actress and the year and play a short audio clip from a film and you tell me what film it is.

Then in Christmas All Over The World we take a look at the Night of the Radishes.  A Christmas festival in Oaxaca Mexico where the locals carve giant radishes into some incredible displays.
Learn a bit more here:

This episode’s recommendation is Jim Henson’s The Tale of the Bunnies Picnic.  It’s ideal to watch at Easter and features a bunch of very cute bunnies.
Watch it here:

Enjoy the show and Merry Christmas.